Coping Skills—What They Are, Why Would or Would you Not Use Them, and Some Examples
by Bridget Nash
What is a coping skill? A coping skills is any kind of mental or behavioral intervention to help yourself handle stress. When we get stressed, our nervous system gets out of wack, impacting our ability to think clearly and respond rationally.
Like most things in life, there are pro’s and con’s to coping skills.
Pros: Sometimes you just need a “break” or time to clam down before you’re able to address what’s bothering you. It usually only takes a couple seconds or minutes to calm your brain and your body down enough to be able to tackle the issue.
Cons: Often, when people feel better after doing a coping skill, they don’t want to lose that good feeling—so they avoid addressing what was bothering them and the problem never really goes away. When we do this pattern over and over (of immediately going to a coping skill instead of handling an issue) we train our brains to respond to issues in our life as dangerous and need to be avoided, rather than uncomfortable facts of life.
Long story short, coping skills—when used correctly—help you get through a particularly difficult moment, by allowing your nervous system to calm down so you can respond more effectively.
Below are some different types of coping skills for your exploratory pleasure! (I also have videos on my YouTube channel which you can view here: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLSinobhsYEeJjxQS5oX14wzTP3NyBcFzz talking about each category giving a little more detail or examples of how to use them)
Distraction:
· Watch a TV show, short video
· Look at pictures that make you smile
· Read a chapter of a book
· Listen to a song you like or relaxing sounds
· Count (to 10, by 3’s, backwards—you name it!)
· Do a puzzle or mind game on your phone (tetris, scrabble)
Creative:
· Journal (this is one of my personal favorites!)
· Write a short story
· Write a poem
· Write a song
· Play an instrument
· Knit
· Sculpt
· Paint
· Draw
· Collage or scrapbook
· Make a self-portrait
Connect with others/nature:
· Call or text someone
· Write a letter (that you may or may not send)
· Play with a pet
· Water a plant
Connect with yourself:
· Breathe (line, box)
· Assess basic needs (hungry, tired, thirsty, bathroom, temperature, etc)
· Stretch or do some yoga
· Take a bath or shower and pay close attention to the sounds, smells, steps in the process
· Go for a walk
· Shake your hands out
· Hold a piece of ice in your hands, behind your ears, back of your neck
· Do a 5-4-3-2-1 (5 things you see, 4 things you physically feel touching your body, 3 things you hear around you, 2 thing you smell, 1 thing you taste)
· Mindful eating
· Tapping and acupressure
· List positive things about yourself
· Drop your shoulders
· Relax your face (I do this a lot when driving)
· Slowly move your eyes back and forth
· Progressive muscle relaxation (full body or just parts), or use a stress ball
· Jump up and down (rebounding)
· Sigh
· Sing
· Open your eyes and mouth as wide as you possibly can, and then gently let them close again
Visual imagery coping skills:
· Safe place (a relaxing environment you’ve been to or can imagine, what are the 5 sensory details you would experience if you were there)
· Container (a secure place you can put all the negative stuff you don’t want to carry around with you)
· Light stream (filling your body with light, pushing out all the distress)
Organization:
· Make a list of things you need to get done (try to keep it to 7 or less)
· Make a list of choices you have
· Declutter
· Make a plan/schedule
· Make a list of things that motivate you
Inconspicuous ones you can do in public:
· Do a 5-4-3-2-1
· Line or box breathing
· Acupressure points
· Safe place or container
· Quietly sigh
· Find something to smile about or at
